Archive for Diary of a Mad Woman

High Horse In A Glass House

HighHorseGET OFF YOUR HIGH HORSE

As some of you know, I live in Hollywood, CA and I work in TV, film and web production on both sides. Both sides meaning in front of the camera and behind the camera.

Just like any other work field, there is a hierarchy of job positions. The totem is very tall and so are the egos usually. Although I have noticed that the super famous people who you work with are usually the nicest!

Anyway, I was on set last week and an actor started asking me if I knew who ‘so and so’ was and if I knew who this actor was. I knew of the projects that this unnamed actor had starred in, but I couldn’t picture their face. You know how it is, there are soooo many actors and names in your head that the match game can be tough.

So the actor who was talking about this other actor who has a great resume, said that he went to one of the Starbucks in Hollywood and saw this unemployed actor, employed at Starbucks now.

The actor I was chatting with said he talked to the now Starbucks Barista and pointed out that the Barista was the former star of such and such projects. He said the unnamed actor played ‘dumb’ about his acting resume and apparently got red faced about the conversation.

“I can’t believe he was working at Starbucks! If I were famous I would never be seen working at Starbucks. I would get a job in an office where I didn’t have to see anybody,” said the guy I was chatting with.

THIS is not okay people. This guy is shaming another person for having a different kind of job. So what- the former actor isn’t starring in a show right now. He’s making ends meet and working a job at Starbucks. Or maybe this actor doesn’t want to act anymore?

I hear people say condescending things like this all of the time. There is nothing wrong with taking a job in the food and beverage industry, janitorial, service industry or any work field that isn’t considered “glamourous.”

Life is tough and a lot of us are in poverty or close to it. We have so many bills and responsibilities, that we have to work our asses off to make ends meet.

Being ‘out of work’ or ‘unemployed’ sucks. Especially when you knock on a thousand doors and you get nothing back for sometimes a year!

Never be ashamed of working anywhere to make your income. Don’t let some person degrade you or disrespect you in your current position. They are ignorant and have their own perceptive distortion disorder.

BE PROUD of yourself and the job you have. BE RESPECTFUL to others servicing you.

If you do your best at whatever job you are doing, then you will feel good about yourself no matter what. Do not let someone else’s perception dictate your perception.

LL

The Truth Is

The truth is…
babyearth
You are born and then you are on your way out. You show up naked and alone. Your Mother holds you as you scream and cry in the bright lights. The world is yours, and you are apart of the world.

Your tongue- sharp like a King’s sword. It flips and hums with your voice box, creating vibrations and magic throughout the air. You speak aloud, you look honest, you are honest.

One day, you are able to understand what someone tells you. You then begin to slowly learn the ways of the world.

You’ve been told so many things. You have adjusted to be apart of the earthling dream.

You ask, “who am I?” You begin discovering your senses, your ticks, your urges, your limits, your power… you find you.

In the mirror, you see you. You begin to question yourself who you are again. But this time, it’s different.

That person you thought you knew, was an accumulation of characteristics and thoughts that the human dream projected onto you.

“Who am I really?” you ask.

Your self exploration begins again. You spend every day trying to find the answers. Your ‘clean-up’ protocol mimics a computer. Reprogram, reboot, delete, backspace, defragment, repair…

The maps are rolled out. The windows are open. Rewiring takes place.

Your eyes reopen like they did when you first saw the bright lights in the world.

And this time, Mother Earth and Universe greets you with open arms and you hug spiritually like a tree.

Clarity takes focus.

“I finally see.”

You spend years trying to find more clarity and focus.

You want to uncover the mysteries. Some uncover. Some don’t.

You gravitate toward people who are like you. You finally find your people. Your tribe.

You learn how to be an even better person in every way. You count your blessings. You understand the real definition of love.

You become harder and stronger, yet soft and sensitive.

“It is what it is” you say. “Life really is short, and I know now what I need to live by.”

“I just want to be back in my Mother’s arms. I want to live to love.”
baby_in_mothers_arm

THE END

The Kicker

1-IMG_5356-003

Desperate for attention
Dying to be heard
The little girl is screaming like a baby bird

She doesn’t really see,
She doesn’t really hear,
Except her own voice drawing her near

Mirrors mirrors mirrors
A lonely reflection
Fears fears fears
Sheer rejection

Drain out the inside
Blood bath flood
Your soul is drowning in the mud

Kick kick
Scream scream
Will she be the queen in her dream?

Mirrors mirrors mirrors
A lonely reflection
Fears fears fears
Sheer rejection

Sin nor Saint

Lisa_scarves The silence of our sins

Turns into secrets within

The essence of him

Rolls through me again

Untruth unsettles the heart

Monsters try to pull us apart

Forever means now

Please God show me how

Love you, to love him

I need attention friend

See you

See me

Heaven knows you can’t reach thee

Leave no stone unturned

I tried so many times

How will I get back up and not get burned

I want you

I want it all

Drink the Kool-aid and take the fall

Manhattan Beach Sunset

 

To Cut, Or Cover Your Crust Is The Question

pbjAs a child, I used to have the crust cut off of my peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. I look back at my youth, and wonder why crust was not appealing.

Crust is excessive. It’s in the way. The peanut butter nor the jelly usually makes it to the crust, unless the painter works hard to cover the edges. It’s boring to children. Children want color and fun. Non-painted crust is neither.

So, to make the sandwich even more interesting, I demanded hearts and designs be carved onto the peanut butter and jelly. Sometimes I would request my name, but I really liked the signature heart shape my Mom would carve onto my sandwich. The crustless wonder sandwich with a heart in the middle was it!

Is the act of covering the edges, cutting the crust off or carving a design into the sandwich a sign of good integrity? Or when it comes to being a parent, are parents just selfless? Is being selfless a whole other level when it comes to the relationship between parents and children? » Read more

The Phone Works Both Ways

vintage-shoes_largeThe phone sure does work both ways! When you’re getting your panties in a tizzy over a missing phone call, just stop and remember what some smart person once said: “The phone works both ways.” Is that person you want calling, calling other people other than you? Maybe. Are you calling other people and not the person you hoped would call?

I like when you think of someone and then they call you… or better yet, you think of that person- and then you call them! Either way, the phone works both ways as they says.